Leave U

i have found out over the past couple weeks that a long distance relationship is not an easy feat for me. the trials and tribulations of who calls who, how many times you should talk a day and not being able to see what your man is honestly doing hundreds of miles away can turn even the sweetest of girls into monsters. but is it really our fault or do men just have a way of making us feel as if we have to constantly worry. i have a friend who is in a long distance with his girlfriend. they've been together for about two years and just recently he had to move away. they talk almost 3 times a day, and they both trust each other implicitly. he has the freedom to spend time with girls and she with guys and they both completely trust each other, no questions asked. i tend to be a little more on the spazy side. i'm 100% positive that my distrust in guys comes from situations in past relationships, just as many other ladies' has, but if a guy really loves you he'll be patient and prove his trust to you... right? anyways last night my man and i got into one of our infamous long distance fights. the entire thing started out in the morning when i told him that i wasn't sure if i wanted to continue with the relationship. he got mad at me and we argued a little bit, then he decided he wanted to ignore me, which was fine because i had to go to work anyways. when i got off, as i was driving home, we continued our conversation, and in true boy fashion, since all arrows were pointed at him he just wanted to drop everything and talk about how my day was. i continued the fight... it escalated to the point that we were both yelling, i was crying a little and to tell you the truth everything happened so quickly, but i don't remember all the details 100% but i basically ended up dropping everything as i usually do and he was content, anyways the conversation finally came to an end with my infamous get me off the phone now line, "well it sounds like you're busy, so i'll just talk to you later." and he ended the conversation with another one of his infamous empty promises.
this morning one of my girls called at the perfect moment, i told her what happened and she made the perfect point to me. even though ya'll don't know about my past relationships, i've been through a lot. it took over six months to get back into the dating game and i'm still dealing with my trust issues, so i don't deserve to feel bad at all about any relationship. if someone wants my heart they're going to have to work for it. so no more crying and no more thinking about it, which will be pretty much impossible but the one thing i am for sure not doing is calling him. he's the one whose going to have to make the effort and i'm not feeling very forgiving at this point so it's going to have to be a big effort. if he doesn't feel like it then i guess i'm going to be back on the market... until i figure out what's going to happen i'm just going to focus on my work, friends and most importantly myself. from here on out it's all about me!
I'm a music fanatic so i love it when i find the perfect song to go with a situation that i'm dealing with and a couple weeks ago i stumbled across Kandi from the Real Housewives of Atlanta's new single, "Leave U" which accompanies my situation perfectly, not to mention i just love the song in general. give it a listen :-)